It has come to light recently that there is a new scourge in the world of personal hygene. Obliteration of human safety has been under attack for years, we’re running the risk of being wiped out.
Why?
TP. Bog roll. Bathroom tissue. Its insidious in how harmless normal old toilet paper sounds.  Has anyone, at any point in time, regretted the use of toilet paper itself? Ignore the paper that’s so rough it seems like somebody stripped bark from a tree, at the end of the moment it’s still been pretty useful.
Toilet paper has a dark side. A side so evil that noone has even dared to bring it up in polite conversation. A side so dark that if you believe in the Devil, even the Devil quakes in his (or her) boots in comparison.
Think back to the last time you had to make use of what’s known in mixed company as bog paper. What do you remember about it? Was it soft? Hard? Textured? What colour was your bog roll? Pink?
Chances are, dear reader, that your roll was dyed one colour or another. If you’re snobbish, you probably even had flowery patterns and perfume on it by default. Its very, very rare that toilet paper these days is left in the natural brown sandpaper tincture. Even if its white, pink, orange or blue, it would have been covered in all kinds of chemicals to achieve that very state.
Yes, glorious people! The horrible evil poised to take over the world is the very toilet paper we all use on a daily basis. Toilet paper! I’m not talking about the pulp used to make the tissue causing global warming, I’m talking about the chemicals used to make the paper softer for our bums and pleasing to the eye.
I have heard rumours about some people in society scared of using paper coloured other than white due to the colour dye being reactive to the tender skin of…those most special…areas…literally insisting the whole family use white paper to protect their gendals. While initially sounding like it has a sound basis, after a few seconds most people should have realised that white is no safer than anything else – assuming the dyes used really are hazardous in the first place.
I contacted Kleenex Australia and asked them if they’ve done any tests on these kinds of claims. Their response was both swift and succinct. \”The fibre in our tissue is made from wood pulp. The fibres are bleached for greater strength, absorbency, whiteness and purity using hydrogen peroxide (oxygen bleaching)…All of the components in our products must pass strict medical clearance and are stringently tested to ensure that it will not produce irritation or signs of allergic response.