Flowers
Flowers are the currency of a good relationship. Give these to someone you love and you can get whatever you want, regardless of what it is. Want a new car? Flowers. Want to try that new waitress at Dennys? Give your spouse flowers. Spend the time to pick flowers from people’s gardens. They’re free, plus your spouse will just love them anyway. Score on two counts there. What’s better than free flowers? Flowers s/he doesn’t know are free.
Going to bed early
Go to bed early and snuggle up close. There are quite a few reasons to do this. You save electricity by being in the dark. You save electricty from not needing any electric blankets. Your neighbours won’t see your new conquest either, and there is nothing wrong with that. Conquests breed too, chances are if you hit the hay early enough your conquest can call a friend and ask for a threesome. And, with the lights off, it makes it alot easier to pretend your spouse isn’t there – especially if s/he isn’t there already. Score!
Glam Rock
Chances are your partner is a child of the 80s. This means s/he grew up listening to Bon Jovi, Poison, White Snake or Warrant. Want to make some easy cred? Rip all your old Glam discs out of storage and into an MP3, burn the suckers to an audio CD and wham! Instant ambience.
Sloppiness in public
Kissing and holding hands may seem too chintzy, but think back. How often do you see people holding hands, then roll your eyes at them? This is why Public Displays of Affection (PDAs) can work in your favour. The best place to hide a potential affair is out where everyone can see it, thus ensuring nobody will see you being entirely chintzy with your current partner. Or partners.
Love notes
Love notes are the trickiest of the sappy tips. If your recipient isn’t your legal partner, then you’re in for a whole world of trouble if you get caught (that is, if you take this advise – I don’t really care if you get caught because of a note, just send me her #). You can use all the petnames in the world if you like, the brilliant part of this is…if your note is read and its using petnames, then you can lie through your teeth about who its for. This also leaves the back door open to forgetting to throw out an old note, finding a new conquest and having them find the note accidentally (thanks to kitten for this tip). There is one caveat to leaving nice little lovenote. That is, do it wrong and they just may be held against you as a verbal contract. And we don’t really like those, especially the ones with “I will love you forever” lines. Don’t say that. Ever. Be vague!