I have recurring dreams where Melbourne and San Jose are intermingled. In the dream, I can drive from one to the other as if they are only a mile apart. I know that they are separate but still get restricted to rules of the dream.
Perhaps if I can control dream actions again, I will resolve the disparity in my head. This recurring dream perhaps symbolizes the struggles and emotional conflict of feeling connected to two distinct places yet belonging fully to neither. The melding of Melbourne and San Jose in my dreams might represent my internal dialogue and attempts to reconcile the geographical and emotional distance between the two cities, both of which feel like home in different aspects.
Am I still Australian? At what point do I consider myself part of two countries? These questions weigh heavily in my mind as I ponder my identity and sense of belonging. Perhaps the essence of who I am is tied to both my roots in Australia and my experiences in the U.S. This duality may not require a compromise but rather an acceptance of the diverse influences that shape my identity.
Will the two halves agree to a happy neutrality? Or will I never feel at home in either country ever again? This persistent dream be the subconscious nudging me. It urges me to understand that my identity is not strictly tied to geographical boundaries. Deep down, I yearn for a resolution. I want both halves to coexist in harmony. This coexistence will allow me to find peace within myself. These dreams guide me to embrace the multifaceted nature of my past. They result in a balance that acknowledges both connections as integral parts of who I am.